How the Fuck Did I Start Rambling About Boys??

ugh!!!!

why are you so adorable?
it's just not cool. i think you're pretty amazing and kind of one of the cooler people in my life now that you've started to open up. i hope once i get over how detestebly cute you are, i don't find some harrowing quality about you that i just can't stand. that tends to happen a lot, so please stay the same in my eyes as you are now. kay awesome. thanks for that.

on the note of boys. while i think that one up there is quite appealing, i don't actually feel the things toward you that i want to feel towards someone. i tend to go through crushes like i go through bottles of fizzy water. which is kind of like other people go through underwear, if you happened to change your underwear a few times a day. but yeah i left this page for a minute to look at something else and i forgot what my point was. oh yeah i think it was something like i want a crush right now, and i want whoever that person may be to kinda maybe feel the same.

maybe i just want someone who i can have silent conversations with and watch crappy movies. someone who knows when i'm in a bad mood and knows exactly the right way to bring me out of it. a person who will lie on the bed next to me and fall asleep with me simply because we're so comfortable next to each other. i want someone who knows me. i want someone who doesn't know me yet. i want a guy who knows me but always wants to find out more about me. i really don't know how i started talking about this. shit i didn't even know i wanted someone this badly.
yay for rambling into startling realizations.


i was actually going to write about all that's happened over the last week-ish. haha but i guess that will be another blog since it's going to be a long one.

oh yeah p.s. and all that shit... i want a guy who knows how (and who wants) to massage my neck so i can actually move my head again. if you know of this guy or you are him, please, pleaseeee send him my way =P